I knew so much better and yet I disobeyed three of my most stringent rules and I am paying for it now. I always say, “Be true to yourself. Act in integrity with your true desire. Speak your truth.” In one simple act of “trying to look good in someone else’s eyes” I blew all three of these.
Now, for two days, I have been carrying this feeling of sadness and disappointment, that does not deserve any more of my power. I believe that I’ve totally learned my lesson. Because what showed up, as a result of my poor decision making, was a person(me) that I barely recognized.
It was as though I was having an out of body experience and the words that were flowing from my mouth were absolutely, not the words of a woman who speaks of unconditional love. To the contrary, my words were demeaning, unkind and extremely judgmental.
This shows me that we all have a dark side and when we allow ourselves to step away from our authentic beings, we give our power to that force of darkness that is always ready to take over in a moment of weakness. It is up to me to check my being and pay attention to the choices I am making. If I am out of sync it is time to stop, re-fuel with appropriate choices and give choice a voice.
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This is the time of my life where flexibility is imperative. I choose to take a couple of days in my week to allow unfolding in serendipitous ways. Oh! I am finding this to be a powerful exercise and I am never disappointed. This allows being in the moment at its “oomph” degree! I get to dream about what might happen and then be open to any and all surprises. Bottom line is I get to choose in the moment and be totally in integrity with my feeling at that time. Try it – you might like it!
In this time of discernment, understanding the choices we make every second, take a deep breath, concentrate on how you are feeling deep down in your being and listen to your heart.
This is a time to trust your intuition, as it truly knows best; and you have always known that; you may have been pretending not to know and no one knows better than you.
When you make the appropriate choice for you, you will have absolutely no doubt; you will feel it in every part of your being. It is not about being right it is about being in integrity with your being. O.K. I’ve got this.