So often what we focus on can bring us to a place that we need to pay attention to. I say this after an extremely emotional day of ups and downs. Yesterday Harry and I worked on putting together a video that is about child abuse. It was about my child abuse and therefor it was rather a difficult and painful place for me to go. None-the-less, I feel that it is an extremely important issue and I recognize that so long as I am coming from a pro-active place in my re-involvement with those memories then I can justify this discomfort.
As soon as we completed filming I said, “O. K. Now lets go out and be with friends and talk about positive things like, my new book Soul Talking – “Wisdom in Rhyme”. So we did that and, lo and behold, we met some wonderful people and had truly positive connections there and the buzz about my book gave me such a high – I felt great.
From there we went to the local theater to see “Precious”. This was an amazing movie and so well done – but of course, due to content, very difficult to watch. Once again I connected to the importance of the issue of child abuse. I also spent time after the movie ended talking to various people about the importance of opening our eyes to what we, as individuals, can do to bring awareness to child abuse and how we can make a difference by being involved.
Being involved in conversation about what we can do, to be involved in bringing assistance to all those in need, is in itself a high.
These highs and lows that I experienced yesterday only compounded my desire to make a difference in this world through my words and my music. So I encourage you to get yourself a copy of Soul Talking “Wisdom in Rhyme” by clicking on the link to the right of this page.
I happened to catch Dr. Wayne Dyer’s latest promotion on PBS. He has written a book called “Excuses Be Gone”. Harry and I are reading this book now and so far it is holding our attention and we are truly enjoying it. Needless to say it gets me thinking and the question I ask myself is this.”When did the reason become the excuse?”
Actually, as I ask this question I begin to feel freedom. It amazes me how books come into my life at the perfect time – always!
I am now embarrassed to say that I have not been walking my talk. The choices I have made over these past year or so have gone against so many of those things I truly believe in. This is where the question comes in. “When did the reason become the excuse?”
The great news is that I found the reason for my many years of excuses, the reason I had never felt deserving of being successful, the reason I have always put others needs ahead of my own, the reason I have been so determined to please everyone and have everyone in my world get along.
For some, unknown to me, reason I have had a memory project itself into my consciousness that had been buried since I was 5 or 6 years old. It was a memory that involved a dear friend of my father who had seen fit to touch me inappropriately in a very rough way and the consequences of a situation that was never to be spoken of and the friend who’s name was never mentioned again. All of this had wreaked havoc in the tiny mind of 5 or 6 year old child (me). This had been the only time in my life I had ever seen my father extremely, angry also I clearly recognized the fact that he never saw his friend again. Could this have been my fault?
All of the choices I made beyond this point in my life were made as a direct result of this devastating occurrence. Though absolutely none of it remained a conscious memory until this recent ‘unveiling’. It has taken a lot of in depth counseling to help me deal with the enormity of this situation. There has been a great deal of mourning on my part for those decisions I had made that took me down some extremely treacherous pathways. Had I felt differently about who I was, so many of these occurrences would never have happened.
I am now, at this time, in a space of relief that I may begin my forward journey with a knowledge that I am totally worthy of all the good that is here for me now. I can also be proud that one of the direct results of this has been my desire to have peace all around me. I need never apologize for this desire.
The truth is that it was way back then that the reason became the excuse – though I was not consciously aware of that at the time. Now I know and now I am free!
What an amazing feeling! How happy I am that Harry had come into my life in time to help me through this most difficult experience.
Thank you Dr. Wayne Dyer – Excuses ARE Gone!
Always report abuse!